Saturday, April 25, 2009

The Tantrum

I have a pair of flip-flops (when I call them thongs, my daughter giggles). Anyway, my favorite flip-flops are dying. They are white foam covered in a black, mesh-like material--I didn't realize this until they started falling apart. I thought they were just black foam. Well, the black material has slowly been ripping...revealing the white underneath--not a good look. It looks like someone wearing ripped nylons....really classy! Now, admittedly, I am cheap and I love my thongs (giggle), I mean flip-flops, so instead of getting a new pair, I thought I would repair the damage with a black sharpie. So, I colored the white foam black. As I did this, I mentally patted myself on the back and thought smugly, "I am clever."

To treat myself for saving money, I went to Target to get a popcorn/pop combo. I love the popcorn/pop combo at much in fact, that I am good friends with the ladies that work at the food counter in Target. I got my combo and came home to enjoy my treat.

As you enter my house from the garage, the first room you enter is my mudroom/laundry room. When I came into the house, I put my combo on my clothes washer, because I had noticed something on my feet. I looked down at my left foot and found that my "clever" fix-it job was all over my toes and heel. As I looked, I leaned into my beverage and knocked it off the washer all over my laundry room floor. I stared in horror as pop and ice seeped into my rug and ran under my washer. As I reached up to get a rag to clean up the mess, I bumped my popcorn and dumped it all over the floor! I looked down to see my beloved popcorn and pop married together on my rug. I screamed a primal scream! My youngest came running. I warned her in a voice I didn't recognize to stay far away! I looked at what was left of my popcorn in the bag and grabbed it and smashed it to pieces. I threw my head back and swore! BLAST IT! It was a tantrum to be remembered. For the finale, I threw what was left of my popcorn into the garbage.

Fortunately, I did calm down...cleaned up the awful mess and mourned the loss of my treats. However, I wish I could say it ended well...I mistakenly used an old Wal-mart sack to throw the mess into...the popcorn, pop, ice, and all the nasty garbage I found under my clothes washer...all the awful mess went into this bag. Well, when I went to throw the bag away, all the remnants of my ruined treat dumped all over my rug through a hole in the BLASTED BAG!.....Cover your ears! SOB!!!!!! ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I am happy to say that no one got hurt. After a while, I did calm down. And I did get to enjoy a little of my popcorn....because I dug it out of the garbage--the popcorn I crushed...not the Pepsi-soaked popcorn. I had to clarify, because I am gross, but not that gross. :D

Care to admit to any tantrums of your own? Yesterday...mine was legendary.


2busy said...

First on the flip flops and sharpie...Can you say WHITE TRASH? I mean seriously, a new pair are not THAT expensive.

As far as tantrums go...I have those all the time. It goes something like this..."I'M NOT YOUR FREAKING MAID!!!!!!!!!!!" Enough said.

Love ya, (I was just joking on the white trash thing, but I'm not gunnna lie, you need to treat yourself to a new pair)

Dellp said...

Very impressive tantrum. I recognize all of the signs. I throw them all of the time. Fortunately for me, I don't usually have any witnesses.

That is a classic chain of events though. One thing leads quickly into another leading up to the great finale. Sassy got a bit of an education that day.



Robert said...

Can't say I've had any huge tantrums that I can recall, ever since I achieved nirvana and all that....

However I can say I was always a bit embarrassed when you would run around outside in your thongs.


stoner said...

Rob....I've witnessed your "nirvana" and I think you have more in common with the rock band....with the naughty words that come flying out to play! :D

I remember having a favorite pair of thongs that I would wear everyday. When they began to fall apart, I repaired them with duct tape. Mom even tried to throw them away a couple of times and I saved them from the garbage. It kind of puts a whole new twist on this little story when you think about thongs instead of flip-flops...doesn't it? :D

stoner said...

2busy! I am hurt! :D

Yes, I will have to succomb and buy a new pair. I just hate breaking them in....

William said...

I've never had a bad temper.

William said...

Now that you are peeing yourself with laughter...

I'm going to take you back in time a few years to my high school days. Ah yes, high school... good times. :P

After school one day, a couple of friends and I were in my room playing video games. Because there were three of us, and only two game controllers, the loser of each round had to give up his game controller. This allowed for rotation so that everyone could play.

I was having a particularly rough day. School had been rotten and now I was getting my butt kicked rather badly in Street Fighter II. I'm not a poor Street Fighter player... in fact, I think I'm halfway decent. The problem was that "Alvin" kept reaching over and messing with my game controller!

I didn't think it was fair, or funny, and I was quickly becoming irritated. After another particularly unfair round, I turned and shot a few choice (read: obscene) words at "Alvin".

My friends were obviously amused at my frustration and began mocking me. That's when I snapped.

I took the game controller and chucked it at the wall! My friends burst out laughing! This made me even angrier. I swept up my boombox and spiked it, football style, onto the floor! As it burst into several pieces at my feet, my friends' laughter grew even louder! By this time I was grabbing at everything within my reach so that I could throw or destroy it! I grabbed the hair gel from my night stand and gave it a mighty squeeze... creating a gelatinous fountain that would cover my bed, the walls, and the floor in my room. By this time, my friends were doubled over in tears... but not the kind of tears I wanted them to have.

Maybe it was the realization of how stupid I must have looked or that I would have to clean up the mess I was making, but somehow, I finally managed to calm myself down.

The boombox didn't work very well after that. I was still able to get the radio, but the cd and cassette players were both toast. There's still probably traces of hair gel on the ceiling in Dad's computer room. And yeah, I still hate those guys for making fun of me. j/k :D

Amberly said...

I would have gone back to Target and gotten a fresh new snack, including chocolate (you earned it!) and a new pair of flip flop thongs. The word thongs really does make me laugh.

Tina said...

We call them slippers.
Because I giggle at the word
'thongs' my boys don't know what they are (and never will.)
And obviously I need to introduce you to spray paint. It comes in many colors and it won't wash off and stain your feet...