Wednesday, April 22, 2009

It isn't always great to be chosen.....


My nephew--what a handsome boy!

When my nephew was potty-training ten years ago, I was the novelty aunt whom he only saw a couple times a year. As a special "honor", he selected me to wipe his rump. I had been married for 5 years, and was adverse to children and their body fluids. All my in-laws knew this and chortled in glee when they heard his request shouted down the hall.

I wanted to be a good aunt, so I gingerly performed the honor, afraid of doing it incorrectly. When finished, I asked in relief, "Was that okay?" To which my cute little nephew replied, "No! You have to do it harder!" Naturally, he said it loud enough, that everyone in the living room heard and began shouting with laughter. After many tries, I finally performed the task to my nephew's specifications.

This story has become one of those stories that is shared yearly. My poor nephew is going to hear about this when he gets married.

Another story we always retell is about my dear brother Willy. As a little boy, he was singing the primary favorite, "Do As I'm Doing" as he was going potty. He has never heard the end of it.....

And now I want to share the story about my dear brother Rob....actually, we will save that one for another day...... :D

Do you have a story that has become a family legend?

11 comments:

Dellp said...

Wow! I hope telling on these people doesn't get you into trouble with them. Please don't tell stories like that about me. I can handle being the wicked witch of the west. My tolerance stops right about there...

:oD

Have a great day and I hope your nephew and our dear brother have a FABULOUS sense of humor!

2busy said...

Ah, the "Wipe my Butt" cry. I have heard that many times in my past. First with my two boys and also with Big K, but that's another story. °Ü°

stoner said...

DellP...I got permission from my nephew....Now Willy is fair game! :D

stoner said...

2busy...you can't leave a comment like that! You are going to have to tell us the story about Big K! :D

Jana said...

Handsome indeed!

I love this post...I hope you don't mind that I am going to steel this blog post idea and blog about some family legend stories...

William said...

Here comes some payback:

When Stoner and I were still in elementary school, we shared a paper route. The delivery duties were split up, but at the end of the month when it came time to walk door to door to collect payment, we usually went together.

One cold winter day, we set out collecting. We talked and told jokes as we walked from one house to the next. We must have been out for an hour or so when Stoner told me that she needed to use the restroom. Of course, by this time, we were on the opposite end of the neighborhood and we only had a few more houses to visit, so we pressed onward.

There are a lot of interesting experiences that one has while collecting for the paper. For instance, every house smells different; some smell like Doritos or candy while others smell like diapers and cat pee! There are the many excuses that you hear from people who don't want to pay their bill - I've actually been told, "my wife is in the shower with the checkbook". Then there are also those times when a customer is completely rude and treats you like scum for having the audacity to want money for your services.

On this particular day, the customer cordially invited us inside and promptly vanished into the other room to write a check. Stoner and I stood at the door whispering rude and naughty things to each other while we waited.

... and waited.

Had our customer forgotten us? Maybe she fell down and got hurt - or worse - maybe she sneaked out the back door and ditched us!

In this time, I noticed that Stoner's expression had changed from 'mildly pained' to 'frantic with the fear of bursting like a broken fire hydrant'!

Still, we waited...

Finally the the lady came out with a check, Stoner handed her a receipt tab, and we were out the door.

I could barely keep up with the pace that Stoner had set; we were two elementary age speed-walkers with an apparent destination! A block or so out, our conversation resumed and again we began giggling... then laughing... and then...

Stoner stopped, sat in the snow, and pee'd herself! It was pretty cold out, so I'm sure it felt kind of nice - if only for a moment.

After a minute, Stoner stood back up and we resumed our journey.

As I recall, Stoner concocted a story about how some boys on the route had sprayed her with the hose. For some strange reason, I went along with it (I'm not sure if there was blackmail involved or if I was just being a "good" brother). Ah well, it's all out now! :D

William said...

... oddly enough, the next few times we went out collecting, EVERY house smelled like fried chicken! :o



XD Just joking!

stoner said...

How dare you concoct such a story! I never did anything of the sort! :P You will be sorry.......:D

stoner said...

By the way...I thought my story about you was cute......not a horrible lack of bladder control story......Great!

Dellp said...

I am very relieved to hear that you got permission from your nephew. I knew that sweet William could take care of himself...and he did! :oD

Tina said...

Oh the stories a sibling can tell...I too, may use this as a jump off point...