Sunday, April 19, 2009

No caffeine before church....not a good thing...


Sassy, as always, was being naughty at church. It is highly entertaining to watch for anyone who isn't her parent or anyone who isn't sitting directly in front or back of my little minion. When we first realized that our little girl was not so angelic at church.....a year or so ago, I apologized to anyone who sat closely and promised to never sit next to them again. I soon realized, that I wouldn't be able to sit by anyone again if I continued promising exile....so now I just apologize.

Well, this Sunday, during the sacrament, Sassy was under the seat, pulling on the legs of the people in front of us. When we stopped this activity, she started trying to force feed fishies to the children sitting behind us. After this activity was ended abruptly, she began complaining loudly, "I want water! I want water! My mouth is on fire! SEE!!" At this, she blew her hot, putrid fishy breath into Big C's face. Understandably, at this time, Big C marched her out into the hall.

After about 10 minutes, he came back in looking frustrated and haggard. As he sat down, he said loudly, "Anyone who will take her can have her for free!" I gasped and put my hand over his mouth--an action I usually save for Sassy. However, today, I was honestly afraid of what else might come loudly spewing forth out of my honey's mouth. I leaned over and whispered, "Have you had any caffeine today?"

He replied with a wild, half-crazed look in his eye, "What do you think?"

Moral of Story: NEVER LET BIG C GO TO CHURCH WITHOUT HIS MORNING DOSE OF DIET PEPSI!

Looking at the bright side, I am thankful there was no profanity! :D

7 comments:

JulieJ said...

I guess we will know if he had his share today. I'm glad I'm not the only one with less than angelic children at church.

William said...

A little caffeine goes a long way to increase stamina and patience. It's also a good idea to have something crunchy nearby to relieve stress.

The church situation is a difficult one. You might really get some looks when your loudly chomping pretzels in your pew with one hand around Sassy's mouth and the other reaching for your Big Gulp. I say let them look - that's their problem. However, when you finish the pretzels, it's probably not in your best interest to hold the bag up and pour the remaining crumbs and salt directly into your mouth. That might step past the boundaries of proper etiquette.

2busy said...

Oh my gosh! Big K and I are laughing our butts off. Heck I just need caffeine to GET through church. I don't even have kids crawling around anymore. I just NEED it.

Dellp said...

maybe that's my problem. I haven't had caffeine in several years now. Do you think I would like me students in 4th hour better tomorrow if I succumb to the temptation? Hmmmmmm

Temptation...

Jana said...

My three little angelic churchgoers are wee bit too happy when we are unable to go to church.

We still sit in the very back, because Kam was horrible when he was little, and I am still trying to get over it.

stoner said...

Willy.....Big C likes your idea. He is thinking that he will install a cupholder to the armrest. That way, he will only have to lean over to get a sip. I suggested a hat with pop holders but he didn't think that would be classy enough. Picky....picky....

Tammie said...

Bill has always told me church would be much more interesting with a mountain dew and a bag of doritos! Cup holders would be a nice touch, he just keeps his in the car for his "sunday school class" maybe big C would like to join him?
And by the way, parents are ultra sensitive about their own kids, most people don't even notice. They're pobably glad they didn't have to get out thier own bag of fishies...more for them in sunday school! ;-)