Botox

This morning I was in the shower when the phone rang. I don't interrupt my shower time for anyone, so I ignored the call. Later, after drying off and dressing, I checked my messages. I honestly thought the call was going to be from my pesky dentist. I cancelled my cleaning last week and they have been calling every morning to reschedule. I don't know why they are in such a rush. I got my teeth cleaned six months ago...that's good enough! Right? Have I mentioned that I hate going to the dentist? HATE IT! Anything is better...even the OB GYN.

Anyway, back to my original story. The message was from my daughter's elementary school. They had called to tell me that my daughter was absent and wanted me to call with a reason why. My heart stopped because my daughter was supposed to be at school. I hastily called back and said breathlessly that she was there and that there was some horrible mistake.



Well, the receptionist put me on hold to check. She made me wait 3-4 minutes before returning. Normally 3-4 minutes wouldn't be a long time, but when you think your kid is missing...it feels like an eternity. I had horrible scenarios going through my mind of what might have happened. I mentally made a list of what she was wearing and carrying. I could see her walking to the bus with her neighbor friend looking so happy. I know I am being dramatic, but, at that moment, I realized how much I cherish my little girl.

Well, the lady finally came back and said, "I guess you are right. She is here. Her teacher marked the wrong kid."

Me, "Do you guess or do you know?" Yes, a little witchy, but I was freaked.

"She is here. I am really sorry for any inconvenience we caused...really sorry."

Any inconvenience? I think I aged 10 years during that 3-4 minutes. Do you think I could get her school to pay for my much needed botox? While I am at it, I might get a chest too...never had one before....it might be fun! :D

Ever had something similar happen? It is such a scary feeling!

What would you do?

Do I take the time to untangle it?

Do I cut the poor dog loose? And, as a result, kill it.

Or do I throw it all away?

Today, I am leaning toward throwing it away..... :D

Ever have a day where it is just easier to throw it away then put it away? I am afraid I am guilty of this crime. But, what they don't know, won't hurt them....right?

Random thoughts of a warped mind....

1. Why does popcorn smell like pee? Does pee taste like popcorn?
***I could smell pee in my daughters bedroom, which worried me because she is eight. It was just the theater popcorn from the day before....Nasty!

2. Why do my kids go potty in the tub, and then drink the water? This one really baffles me. (It may gross you out, but admit it, your kids have done it too!)

3. Why is it, when you have a new bottle of shampoo, the kids use half of it to make bubbles?


Example of #3.....

4. Why do they seem so surprised when you ask them why the shampoo is half gone? (see #3) They are the ones who dumped the shampoo.

5. Why do all the loud "disasters" occur as soon as you make a phone call? And you can't respond how you normally would because you don't want the caller to know you are "that kind of mom."

Do you have any random thoughts you would like to share?

Doda the Explorer

"Doda the Explorer" is how Dora is known around our house. For the longest time it was "Doda the Explorenut" but it is gradually becoming more accurate.

Anyone who has watched this witty, well-written, not-in-the-least redundant cartoon, knows at the end, they always ask, "What was your favorite part?" Well, for once, Sassy didn't yell it at the screen. Instead she watched them wait, and then say, "We liked that too!" To this, Sassy turned to me and said, "They didn't wait for me! I didn't even say nothing!"

I told her, "It's okay. Maybe you can tell them something tomorrow."

Sassy said, "Nah....I don't think they can hear me anyway......"

I laughed for a long time.....

Do your kids like the interactive tv programs? My oldest hated them.....

Words? Who needs to know the right words to sing?

Doughie likes to sing in the car. Every ride, she puts on her headphones and sings to the movie "Happy Feet". Over and over we have heard the same songs...."Somebody to Love" by Queen, "I Wish" by Stevie Wonder and, lastly "Boogie Wonderland".

Unfortunately, my daughter doesn't always hear the lyrics correctly, and starts making up her own--like we all do. I have a brother who thought Metallica's song, "Sad but True" was "Sonic Youth". I have a sister who thought the words to the catchy Brian Setzer song, "Jump Jive An Wail" was "Drunk drivin' then you wail...". Understandably, she didn't understand why everyone loved that song.

So, to add one more to the list, my daughter sings "Boogie Wonderland" as "Booger Wonderlaaaaaannn!" Which to her and Sassy, is a probably a paradise.....

Sorry, one more about boogers.

Have you ever got the lyrics to a song wrong? Please share.

He's Here....See....

The day before Easter, I sent Big C and Sassy to deliver a treat to our newly widowed neighbor. She is a wonderful neighbor and always remembers us and we wanted to remember her this holiday.

After being allowed into her house, Sassy, naturally went running wildly into all the rooms. (I often tell people if I ever want to get a tour of their home, all I have to do is bring Sassy. As I chase her, I get to see everything...quite handy for a snoopy decorator like myself. However, on the downside, I have seen some disturbing stuff--I will save that for another post!)

Anyway, as Sassy was running through our neighbor's house, she was yelling, "Where is grandpa? Where is grandpa?" (Please note: Sassy calls all our elderly neighbors grandpa and grandma. She firmly believes that all white-haired people are here to please and serve...her!) Big C, horrified, tried to reign our little "angel" in. Undaunted, she continued to ask "grandma" "Where is Grandpa? Where is Grandpa?" To which our dear neighbor replied, "He is gone. He is gone to heaven."

Sassy, looking confused, continued to look for "grandpa" when she spotted a picture on one of the end tables. She ran up to the picture and grabbed it and said smugly, "Here he is! Here he is! He hasn't gone anywhere! SEE!" She then went up to our dear neighbor and handed her the picture and said again, "He is here! See!"

Big C told me that he had a hard time keeping his emotions in check. When he came home and shared that story with me, I ugly cried--trust me, it is hideous and should be kept behind closed doors.

It amazes me what little ones come up with and on the day before Easter too. It helped me remember what my focus should be!

The Tantrum

I have a pair of flip-flops (when I call them thongs, my daughter giggles). Anyway, my favorite flip-flops are dying. They are white foam covered in a black, mesh-like material--I didn't realize this until they started falling apart. I thought they were just black foam. Well, the black material has slowly been ripping...revealing the white underneath--not a good look. It looks like someone wearing ripped nylons....really classy! Now, admittedly, I am cheap and I love my thongs (giggle), I mean flip-flops, so instead of getting a new pair, I thought I would repair the damage with a black sharpie. So, I colored the white foam black. As I did this, I mentally patted myself on the back and thought smugly, "I am clever."

To treat myself for saving money, I went to Target to get a popcorn/pop combo. I love the popcorn/pop combo at Target...so much in fact, that I am good friends with the ladies that work at the food counter in Target. I got my combo and came home to enjoy my treat.

As you enter my house from the garage, the first room you enter is my mudroom/laundry room. When I came into the house, I put my combo on my clothes washer, because I had noticed something on my feet. I looked down at my left foot and found that my "clever" fix-it job was all over my toes and heel. As I looked, I leaned into my beverage and knocked it off the washer all over my laundry room floor. I stared in horror as pop and ice seeped into my rug and ran under my washer. As I reached up to get a rag to clean up the mess, I bumped my popcorn and dumped it all over the floor! I looked down to see my beloved popcorn and pop married together on my rug. I screamed a primal scream! My youngest came running. I warned her in a voice I didn't recognize to stay far away! I looked at what was left of my popcorn in the bag and grabbed it and smashed it to pieces. I threw my head back and swore! BLAST IT! It was a tantrum to be remembered. For the finale, I threw what was left of my popcorn into the garbage.

Fortunately, I did calm down...cleaned up the awful mess and mourned the loss of my treats. However, I wish I could say it ended well...I mistakenly used an old Wal-mart sack to throw the mess into...the popcorn, pop, ice, and all the nasty garbage I found under my clothes washer...all the awful mess went into this bag. Well, when I went to throw the bag away, all the remnants of my ruined treat dumped all over my rug through a hole in the BLASTED BAG!.....Cover your ears! SOB!!!!!! ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I am happy to say that no one got hurt. After a while, I did calm down. And I did get to enjoy a little of my popcorn....because I dug it out of the garbage--the popcorn I crushed...not the Pepsi-soaked popcorn. I had to clarify, because I am gross, but not that gross. :D

Care to admit to any tantrums of your own? Yesterday...mine was legendary.

KILL IT!

Last week, we were in the car when Sassy began screaming in terror, "MOMMY! MOMMY!" I about wrecked the car from the sheer emotion of her screams! As Sassy, continued to scream and cry, I finally pulled the car over. As I turned to assess the situation, I realized that I was quite shaken. Fully expecting to see a limb missing or an eye poked out, I turned to face the worst. To my confusion, I found my daughter, intact, tears streaming down her face, pointing at the window.

"What is wrong?!" I asked bewildered and a little perturbed.

Sassy sobbing, "There is a bee! There is a bee!"

I looked for the offensive insect and couldn't see it. So I asked, "Where do you see a bee?"

Sassy then pointed at her window! "Kill it! Please kill it!" she begged.

So, I got a tissue out of the console and got out of the car to do my worst. I walked around to Sassy's window.....licked the tissue, and wiped the black smudge off the window. It looked like a dirty thumb print.

As I got back into the car, Sassy was wiping away her tears and with great respect said, "Thank you mommy! I love you!"

Heaven help us if there is EVER a real bee in our car! I believe she will probably self-combust! :D

No toilet paper.......and other horrors.....

My daughter and I were downstairs. She was playing and I was cleaning the nightmare lovingly referred to as my "craft room." Well, I was slowly putting away paper that I will probably never use, when I heard her call from the bathroom, "Mommy! Mommy! I need toilet paper! It is all gone!"

I called back, "Stay there and I will get you some!"

I ran upstairs (passing my massive storage of toilet paper on the way--I am not always thinking clearly) to steal a roll from my master bathroom. When I got back downstairs, it was to find the bathroom empty. I looked in the playroom and there was my dear, sweet 4-year-old playing quietly. I told her, "You always need to wipe! Why didn't you wait for me?"

She replied, "Oh...but I did wipe!"
Me, "How? There was no toilet paper....."
Sassy, "I used the towel...."

YUCK!!!! YUCK!!! YUCK!!!!!!!! YUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!

On the bright side, I now know if a towel is on the floor to not hang it back up again.....:D

It isn't always great to be chosen.....

My nephew--what a handsome boy!

When my nephew was potty-training ten years ago, I was the novelty aunt whom he only saw a couple times a year. As a special "honor", he selected me to wipe his rump. I had been married for 5 years, and was adverse to children and their body fluids. All my in-laws knew this and chortled in glee when they heard his request shouted down the hall.

I wanted to be a good aunt, so I gingerly performed the honor, afraid of doing it incorrectly. When finished, I asked in relief, "Was that okay?" To which my cute little nephew replied, "No! You have to do it harder!" Naturally, he said it loud enough, that everyone in the living room heard and began shouting with laughter. After many tries, I finally performed the task to my nephew's specifications.

This story has become one of those stories that is shared yearly. My poor nephew is going to hear about this when he gets married.

Another story we always retell is about my dear brother Willy. As a little boy, he was singing the primary favorite, "Do As I'm Doing" as he was going potty. He has never heard the end of it.....

And now I want to share the story about my dear brother Rob....actually, we will save that one for another day...... :D

Do you have a story that has become a family legend?

Never Again is what he swore the time before.....

I have a theory, I believe that glasses send out the following subliminal messages:

** Grab me off my owner's face--they will love it! You will see...their reaction will be instantaneous and exciting!

** I am alone on the counter....I need friends! Please grab me and twist me into a pretzel.

** Yet again, I am alone and within reach. Put me on and run around the house! And remember, don't put me back where you found me!

** The glass part is just for decoration. Poke it out with your fingers! Lick it if you like!

I told Big C about my theories and he wasn't amused.


Maybe...just maybe he wasn't amused because he had left his BLASTED glasses within Sassy's reach once again!

Ever had this happen? Please share....

Who knew Britney Spears and I had so much in common?

NOTE: I even have that same non-existent top! The similarities are endless!

Last week, I had the opportunity to sing in church. It was Easter and the song selected was beautiful. I was singing with five other women and we had practiced diligently. At the time specified, we went forward to sing our song. I stood at one end and began to sing. Halfway through the song, there was a section where it was only accompaniment. During this time, I looked out over the congregation, with a smug smile as if to say "I am giving you the gift of music." At this time, I noticed my husband motioning to me. I am not good at lip-reading, so I started staring at him with an odd look on my face. After he realized I didn't understand, he started pantomiming very dramatically that he couldn't hear me.

When we began singing again, I tried to sing louder. I wanted to be heard darn it! I looked at him again and he shook his head. When we finally finished, I went and sat down and asked him, "Really, you couldn't hear me?" To which he said, "Were you just mouthing the words?" Thankfully, I didn't have to grace this question with an answer because my 4-year-old started yelling for everyone to hear. (Ironically, she can be heard just fine...too well in fact!)

After standing in the hall for the remainder of the meeting....I approached my honey again.

Me, "You really couldn't hear me?"
Big C, "I thought you were lip-syncing."
Me, "Really?"

I do admit, that after five notes above middle C, I go into Dog whistle mode.....some dog far away was enjoying my song....I KNOW IT! However, most of my part was below this mark, so I thought I did okay.

So, I said, "Well, I guess I was just eye candy today."
Big C, "I guess........" As if to say....whatever makes you feel better baby!

NICE.....

My Mom Logic

NOTE: This is my post for the Mother of all Bloggers Contest! If selected, I have a chance to win a new computer! Wish me luck!

What is Mom Logic? Well, if you were to ask my girls, and they knew what logic meant, I am sure they would tell you, "Logic? There is no logic found here!"

Why would they answer this way? Well, I will share a few examples where my girls thought I was being highly illogical.

Illogical Mommy Example #1: I won't let my girls open one more sucker, until these three have been eaten. I am not concerned that the suckers in the bowl are not the "right flavor" or color--Life is so hard!


Illogical Mommy Example #2: I said "NO!" to Sassy's "new slide." I'm not exactly sure how she was planning to maneuver the remaining six stairs.....


Illogical Mommy Example #3: I only allow one straw at a time....This practice came to an abrupt end, when a sticky long straw slowly creeped over my shoulder with the intent of dipping into my personal beverage. When the yucky straw dripped on my light-colored shirt, I knew it was the end of an era.....my children were afraid.


Illogical Mommy Example #4: I don't allow the "pink potty" to be used as a stool in my kitchen. When this rule is ignored, I am not very happy. No explanation necessary.


Illogical Mommy Example #5: I found my 4-year-old's homemade ladder to be unsafe. She thought I was being very unreasonable. And, yes, that is her banned "pink potty" again.



Illogical Mommy Example #6: I have a rule that noses are to be wiped on tissues....NOT my dish towel! Sorry, there are no pics for this one, and it isn't from lack of opportunity. I just don't want to save that for posterity! :D

I know...I know....highly illogical! What a mean mommy I am! These are only a few examples and I have so many more!

Why am I "mean" and "illogical"? Well, it is because I love my girls and want only the best. Someday, they too will be "illogical mommies" and know why I said "no"....at least, I hope so!

Have you been an "illogical mommy"? Enforcing rules that are clearly arbitrary and made to annoy? Please share! This illogical mommy needs some company! :D

No caffeine before church....not a good thing...

Sassy, as always, was being naughty at church. It is highly entertaining to watch for anyone who isn't her parent or anyone who isn't sitting directly in front or back of my little minion. When we first realized that our little girl was not so angelic at church.....a year or so ago, I apologized to anyone who sat closely and promised to never sit next to them again. I soon realized, that I wouldn't be able to sit by anyone again if I continued promising exile....so now I just apologize.

Well, this Sunday, during the sacrament, Sassy was under the seat, pulling on the legs of the people in front of us. When we stopped this activity, she started trying to force feed fishies to the children sitting behind us. After this activity was ended abruptly, she began complaining loudly, "I want water! I want water! My mouth is on fire! SEE!!" At this, she blew her hot, putrid fishy breath into Big C's face. Understandably, at this time, Big C marched her out into the hall.

After about 10 minutes, he came back in looking frustrated and haggard. As he sat down, he said loudly, "Anyone who will take her can have her for free!" I gasped and put my hand over his mouth--an action I usually save for Sassy. However, today, I was honestly afraid of what else might come loudly spewing forth out of my honey's mouth. I leaned over and whispered, "Have you had any caffeine today?"

He replied with a wild, half-crazed look in his eye, "What do you think?"

Moral of Story: NEVER LET BIG C GO TO CHURCH WITHOUT HIS MORNING DOSE OF DIET PEPSI!

Looking at the bright side, I am thankful there was no profanity! :D

It doesn't matter.....cause I'm cute!

It was 60' degrees outside...balmy for Idaho in the Spring. I had taken my girls to the park and they were sweaty and happy. In the car, they decided to take off their shirts, because they were so hot. They invited me to remove my shirt, but I didn't think it would be as cute for some reason and declined.

On the way home, we stopped at Wal-Mart to get some groceries. I told my brother that I was going to grab Sassy and pretend to walk in "forgetting" her shirt. I told him that the fuss she would make would be entertaining. As always, my children make me look like a liar. I started to carry her into the store, without a shirt, and she didn't say a thing. After a few steps, I stopped and said, "Aren't you missing something? Don't you think we should put your shirt back on?"

Sassy, "Nope!"

Me, "But, everyone will see your naked chest!"

Sassy, "That's okay....it's cute."

Pray for me...this kid worries me.... :D

Since I have posted many pics of Sassy in just a diaper, I thought I would post someone else shirtless.

Yummy!

HO....HO.....HO......

As a teenager, riding the bus to Jr High, there were jokes that people would share. This was back in the days before email and texting, so the jokes were on a piece of paper and looked like they had been copied multiple times over....remember these? One in particular I found hilarious....the one about poopies. It was a long list of poopies that someone thoughtfully compiled. It described poopies in ways that I didn't believe possible.....for example:

* THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" POOPIE
* THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" POOPIE

I am not listing the descriptions to these because my mom reads my blog. But you get the idea. (If you want to read more about poopies, sadly, there are many sites that have these lists--I found this doing my research for this post.)

Well, the reason I bring up this high brow list is because my 4-year-old experienced the "ghost poopie". The ghost poopie is the poopie that you work hard at, feel exit, and, yet, there is no poopie in the toilet!

Sassy was yelling from the bathroom, "Mom! Mom! Come here!" From her screams, I thought something horrible had happened. So I went barrelling down the hall to save her, to find her staring into the toilet.

"What....What is wrong? Are you okay?" I gasped....I really need to start working out.

"My poopie is gone....." Sassy said sadly.

Me, "Of course it is. You flushed it down the toilet. It is with its friends." (Long story that you don't want to hear.)

Sassy, "No Mom! I didn't flush yet! It just dissappeared!"

Me, "No....sometimes that happens. It is strange, but it happens!"

Sassy, "I know! Santa took it!"

She has blamed that jolly old elf with many things....this had to be the strangest. I can't even begin to comprehend how she came to that conclusion; however, I would be careful when reaching into your stocking this christmas! Sorry.......went too far.... :D

Easter baskets

We have fabulous neighbors. It is one of the reasons we have stayed put for so long. One neighbor in particular spoils our children every holiday. On Monday morning, the day after Easter, I went out on my porch to find two baskets for my girls.


Each basket contained Dove chocolate eggs, Cadbury Eggs, Chocolate Easter bunnies, a gift card to McD's and this:


When Sassy saw the Peeps, she said, "HURRAY!! The bunny gave us turkeys!" She grabbed the box and went dancing around the room.

Later that night, we opened the "turkeys" to try them. My girls have never had Peeps before because I am not a big fan. As a kid, I would eat any kind of candy...I was desperate for candy. However, I remember the first time eating a Peep and thinking, "This doesn't taste like candy! Yuck!" I thought it was cruel to give peeps or these monstrosities:


Both are a mockery to the sacred name of candy....at least in my humble opinion. :D

Well, my girls tried the Peeps and Sassy said, "The bunny can have the turkeys back!"

Doughie said bewildered, "How can they make marshmallows taste like that?!" A question for the ages....


Sassy does have a point....they do kind of look like turkeys.

"Winkie Wonka" and the "Pee Pit"

The English language defined by my 4-year-old:

Pee-Poo: translation: Winnie the Pooh--"I hate pee-poo!" For the longest time, I thought she was talking about potty training.

Winkie Wonka: translation: Willy Wonka--currently the favorite movie.

Binky Bell: translation: Tinker Bell

Pee Pit: translation: Arm Pit--Many eyebrows raise when your child is begging you to tickle their "Pee Pit" in Wal-Mart. Not a Good thing......

Berry Cake: translation: Strawberry Shortcake--"I want to watch Berry cake! She is SOOO Cute!"

Doughie: translation: Caitlin--If I knew why....I would be a rich woman.

Wee-Wa Room: translation: Play Room--"What are you doing in there? What are you doing in there?"

Wee Claus: translation: Santa Claus--At christmas time, Sassy informed me that she was going to ask Santa Or "Wee Claus" for body hair. Long story....ask me later....

Pee-Pire: translation: Vampire--Our ode to "Twilight". Sassy likes to say, "I don't like Pee-pire movies! They scare me out!"

Ironically, after all the talking about "Pee" and "Wee" she announces her need to use the restroom by saying, "I go to toilet now." She sounds like English is her second (or third) language.

It is funny, but she can say all these words correctly, she just chooses to use her own lingo.

Do your kids have their own words for things?

Yee Haw and a Corn Dog!

Note: I googled a "goofy cowboy pic" and Gawl Durn It! I found one!

Doughie was running around the house pretending to ride a horse and was yelling, "Yee Haw! And a Corn Dog!" I stopped her and asked her what she said, because I wasn't sure I had heard correctly. She said, "You know, Yee haw! And a Corn Dog!"

I said, "What does that mean?"

She said in a superior manner, that she could have only learned from her father, "You know, I was talking Texas."

Me, "Talking Texas? What does that mean."

Again, with a look of unhumble condescension, "You know...that is how people from the country of Texas talk. They say "Yee haw" ALLLLLL the time!"

Me, with an odd gleam and smirk on my face, "REALLLLY? What else do people from the country of Texas say?"

Doughie, "You know...things like "Gawl Durn it!" and "Gee Howdy!" Things like that"

Me, "Please...tell me more...."

Doughie, "No...that is enough for now. You need to talk to somebody from Texas and learn for yourself."

At this time, I went running to the notepad on my fridge and wrote every "Yee haw" and "Corn dog" down snickering the whole time! Doughie watched, shaking her head, as if to say, "Poor ignorant thing..."

Have you kids said anything crazy? PLEASE SHARE!!

Proof I am a Mean Mom

I won't let my girls open one more sucker, until these three have been eaten. I am not concerned that the suckers in the bowl are not the "right flavor" or color--Life is so hard.


I said "NO!" to Sassy's "new slide." I'm not exactly sure how she was planning to maneuver the remaining six stairs.....


I only allow one straw at a time....This practice came to an end, when a sticky long straw slowly creeped over my shoulder with the intent of dipping into my personal beverage. When the yucky straw dripped on my light-colored shirt, I knew it was the end of an era.....my children were afraid.

What proof do you have that you, too, are a mean mom?

A sign I watch too much House or Grey's Anatomy

I was taking pics of my cute Easter decorations when I opened my daughter's bedroom door to find this disturbing scene:


That is my sweet little 4-year-old on top of Peter Rabbit's girlfriend. I asked her what she was doing and she told me that the girl bunny was dead....and that she was "breathing her alive again...."

Both my girls want to be nurses like their grandma, but sometimes I find their CPR games a little morbid. I wasn't sure if I should stop the macabre little game or ask her to recertify me. What would you have done?

Fishing.....

The other day I was taking a shower. As I was shampooing my hair, the shower door slowly creeped open about 2 inches. I watched my daughter's little hand quietly put a piece of yellow yarn in the shower and softly close the door. I looked at the yarn, trying to figure out what the heck she was doing. At a loss, I asked Sassy, "What are you doing?"
Sassy quietly, "I am fishing...."
Me, "What are you hoping to catch?"
Sassy excitedly, "A big, fat fish!"
Me, "Well, sorry, but I am the only one in this shower."
Sassy, "I know...."

NICE.....


Scene from a nightmare....

Great Day for Birthdays!

I want to wish two of my wonderful friends a Happy Birthday!

First is my blogging buddy 2busy!
She is:
* Kind.
* Beautiful.
* Thoughtful.
* Wickedly funny.
* A wonderful mother.
* A great friend.

Heck, she watched my colicky baby for almost a year. That in itself should get her into heaven! Big C and I hope you have a wonderful B-day LH!

Lastly, is my dear brother Willy!
He is:
* Kind.
* Generous to a fault.
* Thoughtful.
* Sick and twisted like me!
* A great listener.
* One of my best friends!

Willy, we hope this is the best birthday yet! How could it not be with all the fun things you have planned? :P

A couple birthday quotes:

Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened.
Cora Harvey Armstrong

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
John P. Grier

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!

I'm no expert.....

I'm no expert...but I think there might be some chafing if backpacks were worn this way.....with my thighs, it might start a fire.


I'm no workout expert, by any stretch of the imagination...but I do believe that sports bra is on backwards......not much support is being provided.


I'm no expert, but I think those pants aren't quite right......


Yep...different day, another pair of pants on backwards.....

Do your kids have any moments like these?

Peter Rabbit....banished

I have finally found the energy to put out our Easter decorations. As always, I put our huge bunnies in the girl's room because they would end up there anyway. However, I noticed shortly after placing them there, that Peter was out in the hall. When I asked Sassy why she had moved him she said, "He was annoying me."



Personally, I find him to be a great listener.....

A Pullup Held Hostage....

Are there any flowers? Are there any flowers? Flowers mean it hasn't been pee'ed. Dang! No Flowers!

Note to self: Buy new bathrobe tie. Burn the old one!

My bathrobe tie is the best toy in the house. My girls tie toys to it and hang them from the stairs--apparantly Elmo is suicidal on a regular basis. They also use it Tarzan style to swing down the stairs--I am just waiting for a broken limb. They use it for many, many adventures. My neighbors are wishing I would use it properly because they are tired of the peep show.

Do your kids have any odd "toys"?

The Alienating Post

Have you ever noticed that some posts receive many comments and others, the silence is so deafening you can hear the crickets? I am still learning which posts are going to be successful and which ones are going to sit....unloved. :D Have you ever thought, "This is a good one...." and get no comments?

* What kind of posts make you want to comment?

* What kind of posts do you like to read?

I am just curious....not that I am going to change anything. I would just like to understand the process better! As always, your comments will be appreciated! :D

Baffled...maybe you can help

When we sing a particular hymn at church, it always has me shaking my head. I wonder what it could possibly mean....maybe you can help me. The hymn I am talking about is "Come, Ye Children of the Lord". It is a fun hymn to sing, with a quick tempo--honestly, I enjoy it. One line in particular, however, needs to be explained. It is in the 3rd verse, 2nd line, it sings, "We will shout in joyous lays." I looked to the line before this for help, and I am still flumoxed...."We will sing in songs of praise; We will shout in joyous lays."

Now I am not going to tell you what my filthy mind thought, so instead, I will tell you what Big C thought. I nudged him during the song and whispered, "What does this mean?" I could see him mentally slow-reading the line. He turned to me with wide eyes and shrugged his shoulders, as if to say "Darned if I know!" After a couple of seconds though, he smiled broadly--I think it is because he thinks the line is talking about chickens or maybe chips.

Help me! I would really like to be able to sing this song and know what I am singing. If you know....HELP!

My Workout...

This is my workout partner--Tammie Lee. We have been working out together since the early 90's.

She is helping me get these:

Seeing I was working out barefoot, Sassy brought me these:

But, I stuck to this:

Side note: Insultingly, Big C asked me if this was an actual pic of my feet. Does anyone want to lend me money for a pedicure?

Additional Side note: Ironically, when I found this pic, Sassy said, "Papa's feet Mommy! Papa's feet!" SO THERE BIG C! NYAH! NYAH! Sadly, I still haven't grown up.