Friday, May 15, 2009

I'm seeing cross-eyed


My daughters, especially my youngest, love to cross their eyes. Sassy has found that it gets her instant attention. Honestly, I prefer eye-crossing over her other crowd pleaser "the pick and eat".

Anyway, I was out shopping with Sassy and she started crossing her eyes at this guy on the frozen food aisle. He turned to me and said, "I think there is something wrong with your daughter's eyes."

Alarmed, I turned to look at Sassy and saw her display. In a fake, happy voice I said to the concerned stranger, "Oh, she just likes to do that to get attention! It always seems to work too!" I puncuated my comment with a forced fake laugh. I am all charm I tell you....

He said, "Well it got my attention! Did you teach her that?" His tone and demeaner made it sound like I had taught my daughter this "trick" to pick up men on the frozen food aisle.

I looked at him, fake smile in place, fake voice ready and said, "NOPE! She learned it from her father!" Which is a lie...sad to say....Big C couldn't cross his eyes to save his life. However, it was effective in getting rid of the weirdo who thought I was pathetic enough to use my daughter to pick up men....AS IF! I can cross my own eyes THANK YOU! I don't need her for that! :D

Side note: I ran into the guy at least five more times in the store....awkward! Did I smile and pretend we were friendly? Pretend he wasn't there? Or turn the other way? Pathetically, I used all three methods that day. What would you have done?

11 comments:

Dellp said...

EEEK! If that daffodil had legs it would be running! What a look!

Grammy Pilgrim said...

There is no boredom in your family!
How did HE act when you ran into him again? I think I would have shopped faster than usual!

Grammy Pilgrim said...

Did you tell her, "Don't cross your eyes! They might stick that way!" That is a mother's duty, you know! :)

2busy said...

Was he creepy and ugly? Or was he nice looking? If the latter, I would have flirted and gone home to my husband. I have no shame.

Gary said...

I'm going to the grocery store this afternoon...do you think I can borrow Sassy for a few hours so I can pick up some hot ladies???

Perfectly Imperfect said...

Big C may not be able to CROSS his eyes - but I want to know if he can ROLL them. I bet he needs THAT skill with all you gorgeous girls!

stoner said...

For the record, I didn't hack Mom's account this time. Those wonderful comments are from the wonderful woman herself! So there! :P

stoner said...

2busy....he was okay. He was mid-fifties....grey hair.....slight gut...probably very attractive when he was younger. I don't know....I always seem to attract the old guys or I should say...Sassy attracts the old guys! :D

William said...

HAHAH! Omigosh - I laughed so hard that I peed a little in my pants when I saw the daffodil picture!

...

I think you should have crossed your own eyes and told the guy that it meant that it was time for Sassy to take her meds. :D

stoner said...

Willy...I am glad that you peed in your pants....anywhere else....your shirt for instance, would have been gross! :D

William said...

I peed a little in the toilet this morning. Is that so gross?

I guess the gross part is that I'm so willing to share. :P

By the way... I got a little on my shirt yesterday! xD