Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Tale of the Evil Cutter

Insanely, my sister and I went shopping to Ross-Dress for Less on a Saturday. Any and all things that later happened should have been expected, if not anticipated. Ross on a Saturday, is like a family reunion in hell--hot and uncomfortable, too many people, people touching you that you don't want touching you, babies screaming, tortured-looking men waiting for wives, I could go on and on.

Well, we piled our cart full of bargain treasures and went back to the miniscule dressing rooms. We could only take in eight items at a time, so we had to leave some of our items behind. The hairied attendant promised to watch or items, and we trustingly went in. Well, when I came out to get more items, it was to find that a couple of our skirts had sashayed over into another cart. I asked the lady for the skirts back and she pretended not to understand me. I gestured for the skirts back and she pretended not to see me. So, I asked the attendant for help, thankfully, I don't know how, she got the items back.

After trying on many outfits, we found some "gems" and went to stand in line. The lines were long and slow. We chatted happily about our "finds" and we slowly but surely got closer to the cashier. We were two people away and the anticipation of finally being able to leave was palpable. In fact, the lady in front of us, only had two items--bless her soul--and we knew our parole was almost over. In our eagerness to be free, we removed all the clothing from the hangers and put everything in piles to help our cashier. When to the right, this woman with a cart piled high, parked in front of the lady (remember two item lady?) parked directly in front of her. My mind couldn't quite comprehend what was going on. Internally, I yelled, "What the BLANK does she think she is doing?!!" But instead I croaked out a weak, "HEY!" To which the woman (in front of two item lady) turned around and sang out to us, "I was holding her place in line. You don't mind do you ladies?"

I was dumbstruck, out of the haze I heard my dear older sister say philosophically (at least that is how I am going to pretend she sounded), "Nice! So instead of them looking like witches for cutting, we will look like witches if we don't like it!" I smiled and tried to change the subject, but my mind was in agreement. "Pretend it didn't happen....don't worry about it. It doesn't matter. What would Oprah do?" I chanted internally.

At this time, the lady with two items (remember her?) turned around and said sweetly but loudly, "I hope you don't mind, but I am holding a place for four of my friends." To which the three of us all cackled meanly and turned to glare at the other two woman--who seemed highly insulted that we weren't more friendly about the situation.

I know....I know....we had a chance to take the high road and what did we do? We bought our clothes and road our brooms home.

Moral of the story: NEVER CUT IN FRONT OF HOT (as in sweaty) WOMEN, IN ROSS, ON A SATURDAY! Tis Ugly and should be avoided!

Has this ever happened to any of you?


William said...

A year or so ago, I made a "quick trip" to Wal-Mart to get a few things for dinner. I rushed in, grabbed my goods, and started looking for a "short line".

Of course, there was no "short line" so I decided to go to the "fast (20 Items or Less) line".

I'm not entirely sure why I still fall into this trap; It seems that Wal-Mart manager's strategy is to park the slowest cashiers on the "fast lines" so that the quicker cashiers might be better utilized to keep the larger lines moving. "Fast line" cashiers also seem to be the most chatty - go figure.

As I stood in line, I could hear the cashier going on and on about her cats at home. "Great", I thought and found myself thumbing through the National Enquirer.
Several minutes later, I was now two people back. I'd finished with the article about "Duck Boy" and the cashier's mouth was still flapping! I wanted to say, "shut up and do your job, already!" Instead, I placed the magazine back on the rack and began looking through the junk toys on the shelf.

More time passed, we inched forward, and I was second in line! As the cashier dragged the last item over the scanbar, the customer in front of me pulled out a large ziplock baggie full of coins! Although, her total was around $29, she was determined that she would pay in pennies!

As she began counting, I felt my face burn red. I fumed for another couple of minutes, but as she reached the 2 dollar mark, I couldn't stand it any longer! I gathered my items and found myself in the "slow line".

Fifteen minutes later, I was free to leave. Bag in hand, I looked back to see the cashier still huddled over, counting pennies!

You know... I believe there is a coin counter in that store. I suppose that the lady didn't want to pay a percentage to use it. Instead she insisted on wasting everyone else's time! Grrr!

Dellp said...

Wow! That's quite a story Sweet William. I really wonder what goes through people's minds sometimes. Why is behavior like that ok?

And dear sister, you KNOW that I don't like to have my picture posted on line...or even taken for that matter. How could you do such a thing to me? Oh well, at least you got my best side.


2busy said...

Kevin won't go near a Ross. When I go with my mom it's like torture. She could spend hours there, it is like a Disneyland of clothes to her. BTW, doesn't Disneyland have a no place holding in line rule? Maybe Ross needs to incorporate that one.

stoner said...

Willy, similar story, I was at Little Ceasars and the line went out the door where it was freezing. Ironically, getting inside wasn't better because it was a sauna. The guy in front of me was a "tough guy." He periodically, looked out the window to flip random people off and with the rest of his time adjusted himself--a class act. Well, when he finally got to the counter, he paid with pennies....I wanted to strangle him with my sweaty hands....there should be a rule against pennies.....

stoner said...

Now that I think about it....maybe he wasn't adjusting himself....maybe he was playing with his pennies....what do you think? HMMMMM.......

stoner said...

2busy....I agree with you 100%....a no place holding line at Ross would be perfect. Actually, I think they should make that a law! :D

stoner said...

DellP...I thought that was a pic of me....actually, I am not that thin.....your right, it is a pic of you! :P

Tina said...

Seriously? Oprah would have either a) sent Gayle shopping or b) had the store close until she was finished...thereby kicking all of the line holders out. That oprah, she sure us smart...and totally off topic, Tyler thinks that OPERA is pronounced OPRAH and it makes us laugh :)