Saturday, March 28, 2009
The Tale of the Evil Cutter
Insanely, my sister and I went shopping to Ross-Dress for Less on a Saturday. Any and all things that later happened should have been expected, if not anticipated. Ross on a Saturday, is like a family reunion in hell--hot and uncomfortable, too many people, people touching you that you don't want touching you, babies screaming, tortured-looking men waiting for wives, I could go on and on.
Well, we piled our cart full of bargain treasures and went back to the miniscule dressing rooms. We could only take in eight items at a time, so we had to leave some of our items behind. The hairied attendant promised to watch or items, and we trustingly went in. Well, when I came out to get more items, it was to find that a couple of our skirts had sashayed over into another cart. I asked the lady for the skirts back and she pretended not to understand me. I gestured for the skirts back and she pretended not to see me. So, I asked the attendant for help, thankfully, I don't know how, she got the items back.
After trying on many outfits, we found some "gems" and went to stand in line. The lines were long and slow. We chatted happily about our "finds" and we slowly but surely got closer to the cashier. We were two people away and the anticipation of finally being able to leave was palpable. In fact, the lady in front of us, only had two items--bless her soul--and we knew our parole was almost over. In our eagerness to be free, we removed all the clothing from the hangers and put everything in piles to help our cashier. When to the right, this woman with a cart piled high, parked in front of the lady (remember two item lady?) parked directly in front of her. My mind couldn't quite comprehend what was going on. Internally, I yelled, "What the BLANK does she think she is doing?!!" But instead I croaked out a weak, "HEY!" To which the woman (in front of two item lady) turned around and sang out to us, "I was holding her place in line. You don't mind do you ladies?"
I was dumbstruck, out of the haze I heard my dear older sister say philosophically (at least that is how I am going to pretend she sounded), "Nice! So instead of them looking like witches for cutting, we will look like witches if we don't like it!" I smiled and tried to change the subject, but my mind was in agreement. "Pretend it didn't happen....don't worry about it. It doesn't matter. What would Oprah do?" I chanted internally.
At this time, the lady with two items (remember her?) turned around and said sweetly but loudly, "I hope you don't mind, but I am holding a place for four of my friends." To which the three of us all cackled meanly and turned to glare at the other two woman--who seemed highly insulted that we weren't more friendly about the situation.
I know....I know....we had a chance to take the high road and what did we do? We bought our clothes and road our brooms home.
Moral of the story: NEVER CUT IN FRONT OF HOT (as in sweaty) WOMEN, IN ROSS, ON A SATURDAY! Tis Ugly and should be avoided!
Has this ever happened to any of you?