Friday, March 20, 2009

Pot calling the kettle black.....

We were waiting in the drive-thru at McDonalds when my daughters noticed an old man, sitting in his car, picking his nose. (It wasn't a scratch but a deep-involved pick)

It went something like this:
Doughie, "Mom, look at that old man! He is picking his nose!"
Sassy, "That is gusting!" I noticed it wasn't so disgusting that she stopped watching.

Both girls were riveted--who needs tv's in the car when you have an old man picking his nose?

Doughie, "Wow! If he doesn't stop, he is going to make his nose bleed!" Spoken like a true professional.
Sassy, "GROSS!"

Doughie, "He should know better--he is old! Even older than Grandpa I bet!"
Sassy, "Grandpa has blue suckers...."
Doughie, "Don't you think his mom taught him any better? (quietly) Do you think his mom is even alive?"
Me, "Stop watching him! I have heard enough!"
Doughie undeterred, "Do you think he will eat it?"

Sadly, I don't know the answer to that lovely question because our food FINALLY CAME! I think I scared the cashier with the look of disgust on my face and my dry-heaving.....

I thought it was rich that my girls were criticizing someone else for performing a pastime that they find so enjoyable themselves.


William said...

Near the beginning of the school year, I wrote a social story about nose picking for one of my students (I'll call him Hurley). Hurley is obsessed with pirates. To keep the social story light I finished it off with a pirate cartoon with the caption, "Argh! Nose-pickers best be walking the plank!" I had hoped that Hurley would find this funny, but when we reached that final page, Hurley just sorta stared blankly - perhaps in shock that I had the audacity to call him out on his filthy little habit.

Now, we are three quarters into the school year and Hurley still goes digging for gold at every opportunity.

Yesterday, the entire first grade gave a musical performance for their parents. Unfortunately for me, Hurley's music teacher positioned him in the center of the risers - where I was neither in Hurley's direct sight, nor could I reach him should he act out!

It wasn't long after the program began that I lost sight of one knuckle... then two! I waved my arms frantically in my corner, but Hurley did not see me. I looked on in horror as Hurley's finger re-emerged, he took a good look at his catch, and ate it up! I really wish I could say that Hurley stopped snacking after one, but I cannot... in fact, I don't think Hurley saved room for lunch.

I'm certain that as parents review the tapes from their camcorders, my groans will still be audible behind the sound of the music and the noise of the crowd. I was mortified... and I haven't been so embarrassed in a long time. There was nothing I could do!

As with any of my stories, it gets worse! Later in the program, Hurley decided to stick his hand down the neckhole in his shirt and fondle his chest! This went on for nearly five minutes before I got the attention of the girl sitting next to him! I motioned for her to tap him on the shoulder and tell him to look in my direction. I guess the horror was apparent on my face, because Hurley pulled his hand out, straightened up, and sat nicely for the remainder of the show (of course, he looked a bit disheveled and sweaty as though he had just gone the marathon -he really did when I think about it). Unfortunately, that was only for three or four minutes. The show had gone on for nearly an hour, and most of that time, in between dry heaves, I was waving in the direction of one oblivious Hurley who seemed very happy in his booger eating paradise!

What kills me is that Hurley is usually an extremely picky eater. I tried feeding him five different varieties of cookies before I found one he would even nibble! Perhaps one of the snack food companies should pick up on what our children are screaming for; it's time to release a booger flavored, booger textured snack - for those days when the cupboard is bare.

William said...

"Picky eater"... haha, that pun, however fitting, was completely unintentional.

Amberly said...

Why do kids love boogers so much? It makes me want to barf!!

Dellp said...

Oh My Gosh! William, that is the most disgusting story I have heard in a while. EEEWWWWW!!!!! Between you and our dear sis, I am dry heaving on my keyboard.

Aren't kids great!?

stoner said...

Willy, Your comment should have been the post today--really enjoyed it. I have been there....trying to stop a kid from doing something gross......very frustrating.

2busy said...

The obsession with nose picking! Kids think anyone else who do it is disgusting, yet it is highly acceptable for them to have their finger stuck half way up their schnoz...

Tammie said...

Love the story! I am ROFLMAO!!!!
We all think its gross kids eat boogers off their fingers, but grown men snort down big hunks of snot all the time. I've seen some chew first! Am I right???

Tina said...

Snot freaks me out.
Please do not ever clear your throat, ask me to take care of your trach, huck a loogy,or farmer blow in front of me.
It won't be pretty.