Friday, February 27, 2009

Oh the HORROR!!

Big C celebrated a milestone on Cupid's day--he turned 40. So, we went to the newest hot spot in town, RED ROBIN! (No expense was spared on my honey's big day!) :D

We got there and we were seated immediately with the rest of Big C's immediate family. We had a mediocre hamburger, opened the typical "your dying" gifts, and received our huge bill.

As the waitress handed us the bill, she brightly asked, "Someone must be having a birthday!" I am not sure if it was all the balloons, the wrapping scattered over the table, or the fact that the other waiters had already sang Happy B-day, that tipped her off. Needless to say, it was apparent that our waitress was not the brightest bulb.

She asked my honey, "How old are you?" and when he told her, she gasped in horror, and patted his shoulder as if to say, "You don't have much longer with us big guy."

However, instead she said, "I dread the day I turn 21!"

I thought she was joking because she looked at least 24, so I asked, "How old are you?"

She said, "I just turned 19!" It reminded me of when kids hold up their fingers and say proudly "I am this many!"

She then went on to say, "I don't even think I will celebrate my 21st b-day. It is going to be so depressing! I don't know how I will face it!" All of us at the table smirked at her with tolerant smiles--the youngest adult being 25.

She continued by telling us about her fear of turning 25 and that is when the expressions at the table changed to, "Leave the check please....weirdo!"

And when she wouldn't stop, we all turned away, except for the tolerant and patient b-day boy, whom, by his proximity, was forced to smile and nod to the rest of her inane drivvle. It was an extra gift on his extra-special day!

Thanks again, weirdo waitress, who won't leave the check until you make everyone at the table feel like an old geezer facing their last meal!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!

6 comments:

2busy said...

Get your plot and start writing your own eulogy, because the day is coming!

William said...

That's precious! They're so cute at that age!

Unless you have some foundation of a relationship with someone (or are conducting a job interview) it seems a bit rude to ask someone's age. (Don't take me wrong - I'm not saying you were rude to ask her... obviously, she already opened that door.)

If I had been Big C when she asked how old he was, I would have held up my big wrinkly, age-spotted, unkempt cuticle with a hangnail bird and said,"I'm this many! Check please!"

I hope you didn't tip the wench! :D

stoner said...

Willy! You are naughty!

I figure if someone is moaning over their 21st b-day, I can ask how old they are without offending. Now if she had been even 15-20 years older and bemoaning a b-day, I would be less hesitant to ask.....Heck, we both know I would still ask!!! Point made--I am rude and have no manners! :D Look at the bright side, it could have been worse....I won't elaborate, but you have been with me when it has been a lot worse!

William said...

Of course, I'm all talk.

I think we all know that I would have been the first in the group to duck my head and hope for her to go away.

I really do have age-spots on my middle finger, but they are on my non-dominant hand. Only the most offensive and antagonizing people who trigger the famous, spring-loaded, backlash, dual-bird have the pleasure of seeing them.

stoner said...

Holy Crap! What time do you get up? The post time of your comment is 5:49....do you ever sleep?

William said...

I yearn for those days when I used to be able to sleep in until 10:00.

In my old age, I have a hard time going to sleep and an even harder time staying there. I'm usually in bed by 10:30, but I frequently stare at the ceiling until after 12:00. Then, if I'm lucky, I sleep till 6:00.

This morning, I woke up with a horrible stomach ache (not incredibly uncommon these days). So I thought I'd visit your blog and post up some offensive material to shock your loyal viewers. :D

..."I can't understand why your waitress would fear growing old. There's so much to look forward to!", he types as he silently wishes that strong winds would carry him into the sea and to an watery grave.