Ummmm.....Yeah...

Sassy doesn't always say the "gr" noise in many words. Tony the Tiger has job security with my little one, if you know what I mean. So, with this deficiency in mind, you will understand why I found this morning's conversation "interesting" to say the least:

Sassy, "Momma! Papa's grass is ALL wet! SEE!?! He is not going to be happy.....NOPE!!"

Me, amused at what she said and also a little curious as to why it wasn't my grass too, said, "Yep, it rained last night!"

Sassy in a sad, melodramatic voice, "When will Papa's grass be dry? I want to play outside! I like it when it is dry, soft, and squishy!!" Suddenly, I was glad that it was only "Papa's grass"! :D

Do you have a child that has left out some crucial letters? Please share! It makes life interesting when your daughter is begging for a plastic bug prison in Target by saying, "I want the grasshopper house! I want the grasshopper house! Grasshoppers are so cute! Except when they spit brown stuff!"

Oh the joy!

Prejudice against Oil of Olay

My girl's don't like my new facial mask.....go figure!


They scream and say things like: "Take it off" "You're scaring me!" "Turn the lights back on!"

Oh well, if they only knew how much it moisturizes.....oh, the injustice....:D

Fun...fun...fun.....

This event occurred on a recent road trip:

Doughie from the backseat, "Momma! Momma! Sassy just grabbed my pop and shook it up!"

Me, "Sassy! That is rude! Shaking it up makes her pop taste bad! Please don't do that anymore!"

Doughie, trying to provide ample discipline fodder, continued by saying, "Yeah! Well, she picked up my pop with her toes and shook it with her foot!"

To this damning evidence, Sassy responded with, "It wasn't me! It was my straw! Bad Straw! Bad Straw! You say sorry to Doughie!" She then proceeded to spank her straw--finishing the beating by chewing on one end. After this dramatic discipline scene, the straw, in a high falsetto, gave Doughie a sad apology. The apology was heartfelt and sincere--beautiful really.

Not expecting anything like the melodrama we had just witnessed, Big C and I silently sniggered in the front of the car. (In our defense, this was the third day of traveling in the car with our two little angels. The third longest day........)

Ever laughed when you should be playing the parent?

Note to self: No more long road trips.....

She's going to lose it!

After listening to my daughter, Sassy, use everything but her "indoor voice" for approximately 4 hours--the time it took to drive from one end of Yellowstone Park to the other--she finally got tired and stopped.

With the new found silence, Big C and I began chatting in relief. After only a couple of minutes, Sassy imperiously demanded from the backseat, "No Talking! Your voices hurt my ears!" (Quite frankly, I was surprised that she wasn't hoarse.)

When I heard her loud command, I began laughing crazily. After listening to my maniacal laughter for a couple of minutes, Big C stated nervously, "It wasn't that funny." To this, my laughter turned to hysterics.....I think my family was a little scared that I had lost it and was about to beat them soundly with my empty plastic Mt Dew bottle.

Note to self: Road trips with children are bad....very...very...bad! :D

Ever have a moment like this one? When you just have to laugh....


Doughie enjoying her video:


Me at a happier time....

I Triple Dog Dare You!

We were enjoying Christmas in July with our own "Christmas Story" moment!


Stuck....stuck....STUCK!!!


I remember my first encounter like this one. I was dared to put my tongue on the monkey bars in subzero weather. I ripped off all the taste buds on the tip of my tongue....oh the memories!


My brother's touching display of compassion will make my mother so proud!

Ever have your own "Christmas Story" moment?

She's killing me!

Sassy came running in to me and said, "Mommy! Mommy! Doughie is killing me! She is killing me!"

Me, "What now?"

Sassy, "She keeps changing the tv to Hannah Montana!"

I have to admit....I found this very amusing. I have to agree with Sassy, Doughie has been "killing me" with her tv selection for quite some time now.

Do you like the shows your children love to watch? Please share!

Perfect Little Mommy

Isn't it adorable? She is practicing!


We were impressed to find that she had packed 10 babies in that shopping cart! Also, we later found out that she had babies in the backpack too! To be honest, I am a little scared for her future children.... :D

I smell a rat.....

Big C went to get some fruit for his lunch.....


After inspecting the apples, he found this:


I smell a rat!

Our "little mousie" is extra special...it's teeth grow above and below it's nose!

On occasions like this one, she likes to remind us that she is a "princess from heaven." Heaven help us! :D

Ever have a similar experience?

One of two things.....

On one of the hottest days of the year, Sassy is wearing this:


It is one of two things:

*Our AC is turned too high and she needs the cap for warmth. (Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me. Big C likes the house to feel like the Arctic.)

OR

*Our AC isn't high enough and my poor little dear has fried her brains....which would explain her obsession with the freaky, squishy sea horse she is holding.

How are you coping with the heat? Is your house hot and sweaty or cold and icy like mine?

The perspective of a child

The other day, Sassy came up to me and said, "I want a new baby!" (Baby doll....not a real one thank goodness!)

She continued with her demands by adding with much enthusiasm, "I want a baby jail bed too! It will be perpect!(perfect)"


Never thought about it, but she does have a point.... :D


This "baby jail bed" is gorgeous....too pretty for sleeping!

Disney movies as interpruted by my 4-year-old

Finding Nemo: "A Fish goes in the toilet!"

Cars: "Driving! Lots of driving!"

Winnie the Pooh: "I hate Pee-Poo!"

The Little Mermaid: "A scary shark tries to eat her!"

Cinderella: "I love Rella. There's lots of lub (love) and rats!"

Up: "A dog talks! There are lots of balloons! It is awesome!"

The Fox and the Hound: "Everyone is trying to kill the fox! They are ebil (evil) and should be killed! (Much to my disgust, they have been watching this "gem" repeatedly lately. "The Fox and the Hound" and "Pocahontas" are two movies I wished I never purchased--ironically, they are favorites.)

How do your kids interpret Disney movies? You might be surprised by their answers. Ever have a movie that you were sorry that you purchased?

The third and fourth walls.....

Recently, I posted pics of my clean craft room. However, I only pictured two walls in my craft room. After a little teasing by a good friend, I have finally decided to show the other two walls in my craft room.......


Third wall....yup, I bet you didn't know I liked cats.....


Fourth wall...At least the other side of my craft room was clean. Anyone want to help me clean this side? I will make sure the fridge in the corner has beverages! :D

Honestly, it makes me sad that anyone could live this way. In the next couple of days, I will post the real pics....after I clean of course! :D

Going to the movies

With everyone picking their seats....you would think we were going to the movies....



In my brother's defense, he was making fun of Doughie....at least, that is what he said.......:D


I have been asked, "Why are you always taking pics of people walking away? You are just begging for picking...." Sadly, I take pics like this because I am trying to get one of those touching moments....you know the ones, where people are walking away, holding hands and it is adorable. Instead, I get actual "touching moments." Sometimes you can't win! What do you think?

Even Steven

It is just my humble opinion, but I believe the next time I find something cute for the house......Big C can't complain. What do you think? :D


And for those of you who are trying to figure out what this is a picture of.....it is the remnants of Big C's fourth of July fun. Oh yeah....even steven. Don't my flowers look pretty?

Heck has frozen over.....

My craft room is finally clean! I quickly took some pictures so I could remember this day! Also, so I had proof that it could be done.



Now I don't want to craft....don't want to mess it all up again! :D

Batman's Day Job.....

Yup...that is the Caped Crusader hanging precariously in my shower. He is fantastic at scrubbing those hard to reach spots and cleaning scum on the bottom of the shower.


This is the terry cloth bandit...Batman's nemesis:


Actually, I didn't realize I had a shower partner until I was shampooing my hair. In my blind haze, I noticed a huge black thing hanging from my shower door. I instantly had heart failure and seized away from the menacing black blob. I frantically jerked out of the shower, dripping wet, to find later that it was only the Dark Knight hanging there.


I think I am going to make a rule on what toys are allowed to hang in my shower. What would you do? This pic is Sassy recreating my horror.... :D

Wishes

They look so pretty like this....don't you think? Especially if it is out in the forest somewhere and not in your yard.

Unfortunately, they turn into this.....


Sassy calls them wishes and blows them all over the yard. I call them something that can't be repeated.

Sometimes, I wish I had the perspective of a child, where everything, even a weed, is beautiful. :D

Modified Expectations

I asked Sassy to put her stuffed animals away expecting this result:


I got this:

Funny thing....I was still amazed and surprised. I should know better by now....right?!

I am learning that if I want a certain result, I have to be very....VERY specific. Have you found the same thing?

Nevermind, You can do it.....

I would like to know how other mothers do the following: public restrooms with children. Currently, I force my 4-year-old into the cubicle with me because I have learned that if I don't, she will peek under all the other stalls while I am conducting my business. Recently, she crawled under the stall to visit with the poor, unsuspecting, and, I might add, vulnerable person. Thankfully, it was my sister.

Well, the other day, we were at the craft store restroom and I forced her to go into the handicap stall with me. We use this stall because it is nice and roomy. Well, to occupy herself, she started creating a softball-sized ball of TP. She turned to me and said as she patted my knee, "Don't worry Mommy, I will wipe you!" This comment I found especially ironic since she hasn't found the time or effort to learn how to wipe herself. Thankfully, when it was time for the paperwork, she chickened out and said, "Mommy, you a big woman. You know how to do it yourself...right?" AS IF! I learned how to do that a couple of years ago! Thank you very much! :D

I only have one little rascal to wrestle with in the public restroom, thankfully, Sassy's older sister has finally learned how to control herself in public. How do people do it with more than one? Please share!


She's a cutie...but I still wouldn't want to see her peeking at me under a stall door!

Poor...poor Ken

My brother said, "That Barbie looks like a guy..."

Me, "That's because it is."

Later....

My husband said, "Wow....Barbies get uglier and uglier."

Me, "It's a guy."

Big C, "Oh...your right. Who did that?" (Like there was any question. I had to stop myself from snidely saying "Me! That is what I do while you are at work!")


Who knew that such a sweet little baby, would be so twisted?

When I asked her why she put Ken or ,excuse me, "Prince Andre" in a dress, she said, "Because it is funny!"

I guess it could be worse. He could be nude, and possibly limbless with all the other female Barbies scattered around our house. Why does that ultimately become a Barbie's fate? Nude....limbless.....abandoned? I can't tell you how many boxes of naked Barbies I have seen at garage sales. There is an army of nude dolls out there...it is sad, but true! Maybe their clothes go to the same place lost socks go to......it is a mystery.

Have your Barbies met the same fate? Please share.

Laughing at someone else's pain...an American pastime

Doughie, very seriously, came up to me one evening and said, "When you get older, there are less things to talk about--I have noticed that." She looked around sagely and spotted her younger sister playing and continued by saying, "Sassy is so young. She laughs at everything....even when people are getting hurt."

I choked on my food and tried to fathom her thought process. I said to her, "Yes....Sassy is young. But your papa was laughing at people getting hurt tonight too." I am ashamed to admit we were watching America's home videos and enjoying it too much.

She replied by saying, "Yeah....well...that is papa...and he is a boy." Like that should explain everything. And sadly, in my mind, it did. :D

Do you ever watch America's funniest home videos and have a guilty night of mindless enjoyment?

Bake....Shmake.....

Isn't it precious? I got this fantastic cake plate and now I am pretending that I like to bake. I will be removing these babies when they are green and furry! But, for right now, I look like a regular Martha Stewart! Oh the thrill!

At church, the kids were asked what there mother's like to do. One girl raised her hand and said, "My mom likes to cook until she bakes!" I can't imagine how long that it would take....it makes me shudder to even consider it! :D

Do you like to cook or bake? Please share....I promise I won't mock! :D

Whistle while you work

My brother and daughters were waiting for me in the car. When I got back in the car my brother said, "While you were gone, I was whistling."

Me, "Yeah?"

And he said, "Sassy told me that Jesus doesn't like it when I do that."

I have to admit, depending on the whistling, I have to agree with Jesus..... :D

I asked him how he responded and he said he laughed. In his defense, it would be hard to make a snappy comeback.

I am praying that heaven has a sense of humor--it will be my family's saving grace.

Lately, Sassy has become the expert on Jesus. She is constantly telling us our behavior would not find His favor. Do your kids ever say stuff like this? Please tell me that mine are not the only ones! Misery loves company you know!

Training at my house! All invited!

I am going to be giving my family some much needed training. If you too, need this training, please contact me. It really isn't hard....I promise!

I am hoping they will remember their training this time--cross your fingers for me!

The Tooth Witch

Doughie and I were reading our nightly story. This particular story happened to be about a little girl who had lost her front tooth. Doughie had just had four teeth pulled at the dentist (at 60 bucks a pop! If I wasn't so grossed out by blood, I would have used our pliers.) Needless to say, she was very interested in this story.

In the story, the little girl told her mother that she "knew the truth" and that there was no such thing as the tooth fairy. She told her mother that the tooth fairy made "no sense" because why would anyone pay "good money" for stuff that they weren't going to use. She told her mother that a "tooth witch" took your teeth and ate them like apples. She also told her mother that one kid at school had tried to tell her that there was no tooth witch or tooth fairy--that it was your parents!!

After I had read this part of the story, Doughie stopped me and said in a sactimonious voice, "That doesn't make any sense either! Because EVERYONE knows that parents only give money on your birthday! The tooth fairy is what makes sense! A tooth witch is just gross!"

I nodded, as if engrossed in her comments, and finished the story.

What makes the most sense to me is this: I don't know what alternate reality my little girl has been living in....but I can safely say that we don't give money on birthdays either! AS IF! I save that money for MY birthday....and paying the dentist $60 a tooth! :D

After she lost four teeth, Big C and I reevaluated the amount we give for each tooth. How much does your tooth witch leave?


Poor kid--she only has her two front teeth to chew with!

Who does Number 2 work for?!

We were coming back from a long trip. My daughters were in the backseat discussing there immediate plans once we reached home:

Doughie, "I am going to go #2 FIRST THING!"

Sassy said, "Yeah? Well I am going to go #6!"

I didn't ask.....I was afraid actually.

Challenge: Name the movie I was quoting in my title.... :D

Venting about the Craft Lite Cutter

Have you ever seen this commercial? They show someone spastically cutting through the face of their spouse because using scissors is SO difficult!

Ironically, you can find anything on youtube, if you haven't seen the commmerical take a look: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJsezVu0Buk. You only have to watch 10 seconds to see what I mean.

So, to prevent yourself from destroying all your pictures with scissors, you need to buy this cutter with a light. Honestly, the cutter looks great...but I find it really insulting that they think we all use scissors like a three-year-old. In fact, every time I see this commerical, I have to fight the urge not to talk back to the tv, "Do you think I am going to stroke while using the scissors? COME ON! Who cuts like that? Seriously!?!" I know...very trivial but for some reason, this commercial annoys me to the core.

Do you have any commercials that just drive you crazy? Please share!