Oh the HORROR!!

Big C celebrated a milestone on Cupid's day--he turned 40. So, we went to the newest hot spot in town, RED ROBIN! (No expense was spared on my honey's big day!) :D

We got there and we were seated immediately with the rest of Big C's immediate family. We had a mediocre hamburger, opened the typical "your dying" gifts, and received our huge bill.

As the waitress handed us the bill, she brightly asked, "Someone must be having a birthday!" I am not sure if it was all the balloons, the wrapping scattered over the table, or the fact that the other waiters had already sang Happy B-day, that tipped her off. Needless to say, it was apparent that our waitress was not the brightest bulb.

She asked my honey, "How old are you?" and when he told her, she gasped in horror, and patted his shoulder as if to say, "You don't have much longer with us big guy."

However, instead she said, "I dread the day I turn 21!"

I thought she was joking because she looked at least 24, so I asked, "How old are you?"

She said, "I just turned 19!" It reminded me of when kids hold up their fingers and say proudly "I am this many!"

She then went on to say, "I don't even think I will celebrate my 21st b-day. It is going to be so depressing! I don't know how I will face it!" All of us at the table smirked at her with tolerant smiles--the youngest adult being 25.

She continued by telling us about her fear of turning 25 and that is when the expressions at the table changed to, "Leave the check please....weirdo!"

And when she wouldn't stop, we all turned away, except for the tolerant and patient b-day boy, whom, by his proximity, was forced to smile and nod to the rest of her inane drivvle. It was an extra gift on his extra-special day!

Thanks again, weirdo waitress, who won't leave the check until you make everyone at the table feel like an old geezer facing their last meal!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!

Coupon Hussy

Yes, I am an admitted coupon hussy....I would say something else, but my mom reads my blog. Anyway, I will print any coupon available and go to printer after printer to get my max amount. It is an illness.

This week, I feel my couponing reached an all-time low. So, I could save $1 on Cottenelle toilet paper, I made a pledge on their website. It went something like this:

"I pledge to exercise my pampered behind. Why is it pampered? Because I use Cottenelle of course!"

I wonder what I would do or say for $5 off? Frightening thought.

P.S. My sister was going to pledge, "I pledge to only wipe my butt with Cottenelle!" The shameless thing must run in the family.

Exercise--a necessary evil

Doughie came downstairs to find me exercising (Dance Dance Revolution) and she said, "I knew you were exercising, because I could feel it upstairs." I thought she probably misspoke so I clarified by saying, "You could hear me right? Not feel me." (Why I do this to myself, I don't know) And she said, "Oh! No! I felt you!"

So, I am going to try to look on the positive side...at least she couldn't smell me upstairs too!

Up, Up, and Away!

Sassy Bee and I were shopping in the craft store the other day. When we got to the counter, the only cashier, turned away (as if she didn't see or hear us--which is virtually impossible with the lungs on my kid) and proceeded to call her friend about an order of balloons. During her conversation, my dear sweet 3-year-old was yelling, "Hey! Hey! Hey Lady!" I tried to quiet her, but anyone with a determined child knows it is difficult without going to jail. So, finally, the lady hangs up the phone and looks at Sassy expectantly and Sassy says, "You talk on the phone too much! Can I have a balloon?"

Was I surprised? Not really.....Admittedly, I have heard worse from Sassy.
Was I Embarrassed? A little.
Was I in Agreement? Hell yes! I can't stand it when somebody makes me wait to chat on the phone...whether it be in the car or in a store or anywhere.

Did Sassy get her balloon? No. The lady looked right at Sassy and said, "You can't have one unless your mom can afford one...." Afford one? Well, I won't go on that rant, but needless to say, we didn't get a balloon.

And, before anyone asks....NO, I wasn't wearing my sweats....

Does anyone have a similar story?

Hannah who?

Doughie is an aspiring singer/songwriter and hopes to support her parents someday with a thriving music career. She prides herself in having a voice "like a teenager" and often "practices" her skills in the car. She has written many songs and poems over the years. One poem in particular, she wrote for her papa to romance me with....it went like this:

"Roses are Red.
Violets are Blue.
I am full of love.
Would you like some love on you?"

If I hadn't seen it written in her untidy scrawl, I would have been suspicious that this "gem" had been written by Big C. She has many others that we will share in the future. They are too good to share all at once.

Clothing Optional....

A few years ago, I was watching a biography on Hailey Mills (Pollyanna, the original Parent Trap, etc.) Anyway, I noticed that she didn't wear many clothes the first eight or nine years of her life. At the time, I remembered thinking, "What kind of pervert lets their little girl run around like that?" Well, now I know....:D I realized this as I was looking through my pics and most of them couldn't be posted because Sassy Bee is only wearing a diaper.

Both my girls were like this for the first four years of their lives. It is not something I have nurtured....I like wearing clothes. I don't like being cold or advertising to everyone that I am. You know it is a problem when your kids wear clothes only for special occasions and you find yourself thinking, "Boy, they look cute in clothes." Doughie wants me to make it very clear that she wears clothes now. (As for Sassy Bee and Big C, it is still a problem)

As a three-year-old, Doughie was very theatric about her disrobing escapades. She would hide in the curtains and leap out, after the deed was done, as if to say, "TA!DA! And I have hid my clothes so you can't dress me for a while! How do you like them apples?"


Sassy likes to wear her clothes unconventionally....this is a pair of shorts.


One of Big C's shirts.

I look forward to the day that everyone wears clothes.....

Sweats...sloppy and oh so perfect!

You know you need to wear the sweats less when your 3-year-old thinks it is a special occasion when you wear something different.

I changed out of my sweats at about 2 p.m. the other day, and Sassy Bee was ecstatic. "Are we having a party? Are we having a pizza party? Is somebody coming over? Are we going shopping?" And when I told her that we were going to stay at home and eat lunch she seemed so confused. She looked at me as if to say, "Why did you comb your hair and put on clothes for lunch? It is just me...."

So...a new goal....wear the sweats less! :D My descendants are going to be so proud of me!!! What a worthy goal to record!