Friday, February 27, 2009
We got there and we were seated immediately with the rest of Big C's immediate family. We had a mediocre hamburger, opened the typical "your dying" gifts, and received our huge bill.
As the waitress handed us the bill, she brightly asked, "Someone must be having a birthday!" I am not sure if it was all the balloons, the wrapping scattered over the table, or the fact that the other waiters had already sang Happy B-day, that tipped her off. Needless to say, it was apparent that our waitress was not the brightest bulb.
She asked my honey, "How old are you?" and when he told her, she gasped in horror, and patted his shoulder as if to say, "You don't have much longer with us big guy."
However, instead she said, "I dread the day I turn 21!"
I thought she was joking because she looked at least 24, so I asked, "How old are you?"
She said, "I just turned 19!" It reminded me of when kids hold up their fingers and say proudly "I am this many!"
She then went on to say, "I don't even think I will celebrate my 21st b-day. It is going to be so depressing! I don't know how I will face it!" All of us at the table smirked at her with tolerant smiles--the youngest adult being 25.
She continued by telling us about her fear of turning 25 and that is when the expressions at the table changed to, "Leave the check please....weirdo!"
And when she wouldn't stop, we all turned away, except for the tolerant and patient b-day boy, whom, by his proximity, was forced to smile and nod to the rest of her inane drivvle. It was an extra gift on his extra-special day!
Thanks again, weirdo waitress, who won't leave the check until you make everyone at the table feel like an old geezer facing their last meal!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
This week, I feel my couponing reached an all-time low. So, I could save $1 on Cottenelle toilet paper, I made a pledge on their website. It went something like this:
"I pledge to exercise my pampered behind. Why is it pampered? Because I use Cottenelle of course!"
I wonder what I would do or say for $5 off? Frightening thought.
P.S. My sister was going to pledge, "I pledge to only wipe my butt with Cottenelle!" The shameless thing must run in the family.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
So, I am going to try to look on the positive side...at least she couldn't smell me upstairs too!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Was I surprised? Not really.....Admittedly, I have heard worse from Sassy.
Was I Embarrassed? A little.
Was I in Agreement? Hell yes! I can't stand it when somebody makes me wait to chat on the phone...whether it be in the car or in a store or anywhere.
Did Sassy get her balloon? No. The lady looked right at Sassy and said, "You can't have one unless your mom can afford one...." Afford one? Well, I won't go on that rant, but needless to say, we didn't get a balloon.
And, before anyone asks....NO, I wasn't wearing my sweats....
Does anyone have a similar story?
Monday, February 23, 2009
"Roses are Red.
Violets are Blue.
I am full of love.
Would you like some love on you?"
If I hadn't seen it written in her untidy scrawl, I would have been suspicious that this "gem" had been written by Big C. She has many others that we will share in the future. They are too good to share all at once.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Both my girls were like this for the first four years of their lives. It is not something I have nurtured....I like wearing clothes. I don't like being cold or advertising to everyone that I am. You know it is a problem when your kids wear clothes only for special occasions and you find yourself thinking, "Boy, they look cute in clothes." Doughie wants me to make it very clear that she wears clothes now. (As for Sassy Bee and Big C, it is still a problem)
As a three-year-old, Doughie was very theatric about her disrobing escapades. She would hide in the curtains and leap out, after the deed was done, as if to say, "TA!DA! And I have hid my clothes so you can't dress me for a while! How do you like them apples?"
Sassy likes to wear her clothes unconventionally....this is a pair of shorts.
One of Big C's shirts.
I look forward to the day that everyone wears clothes.....
Friday, February 20, 2009
I changed out of my sweats at about 2 p.m. the other day, and Sassy Bee was ecstatic. "Are we having a party? Are we having a pizza party? Is somebody coming over? Are we going shopping?" And when I told her that we were going to stay at home and eat lunch she seemed so confused. She looked at me as if to say, "Why did you comb your hair and put on clothes for lunch? It is just me...."
So...a new goal....wear the sweats less! :D My descendants are going to be so proud of me!!! What a worthy goal to record!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
"Yeah, Sassy, you shouldn't draw on your body. No! No! Because your body is a temple and you wouldn't draw on the temple would you?"
And Sassy said, "No way!" (even though I could tell she was contemplating it way more than she should be.)
Doughie continued with, "Yeah, all our bodies are a temple. Mommy's body is like the Idaho Falls temple....small and pointy on top and big on the bottom..."
Nice--so much for my self-esteem that day! What wise words would Oprah have for this situation? Hmmmm?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
These are the butterflies above her bed. They are 3-D and magnets....so you can position them on a thumbtack and get a great effect.
Above the window.....
Thursday, February 12, 2009
The other night, Sassy Bee and Doughie were having a heated argument....actually, they were screaming at each other and Sassy was crying. It went something like this:
Doughie, "Papa's a boy!"
Sassy Bee, "NO! Papa's a girl!"
Doughie, "Sassy, I go to school (she said this in her most sanctimonious tone that only older siblings can truly aspire to) and I know Papa is a man!"
Sassy Bee, "NO!! Man killed Bambi's MOMMY!!"
Yet again, the infamous dead mommy scene in Bambi has broken another heart. I remember as a child thinking hunters were evil and destroyed families.
So, when I came to the rescue, Sassy was sobbing hysterically. I was tempted to agree with Sassy (about papa being a girl), but knew that would get me in trouble...so I settled with comforting her and telling her it was just a movie.
When she was more composed, she turned to me and patted my face very lovingly and said, "If man comes to kill you, we will hide in your belly and be safe." So, ironically, if I was Bambi's mom, I would be toast either way! I am either shot by "Man" or gutted by my girls. How lovely!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Does anyone know where I can buy a salt lick? I think it would look cute in her pink bedroom.
This is a picture of Sassy Bee in one of her hidy holes--she has two. In this particular one, I have a fake tree. My only complaint is that her little toys love to scatter the fake moss and dig in the styrofoam of said plant. Understandably, her toys have been in timeout more than once.
She was hiding and we found her in the hidy hole...naturally!
On Christmas Eve, she didn't want to fake sleep with Doughie. So, yet again, she ran to her hidy hole. You can see her peaking out in annoyance.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
I have added some past Halloween pictures just for fun.
Doughie in one of her many cat costumes. (We have a different version every year--the color changes.)
Sassy Bee in one of Doughie's old castoffs.
To prevent perverts and other blog-stalkers from knowing our names, we will all have non de plumes. Papa will be "Big C". He had many other suggestions, however, I want to keep this blog clean.
Our oldest will be called "Doughie". Why Doughie? This is a name her little sister came up with years ago. If I knew why, and how to fix the economy, I would be a rich woman. So, we will call her the flattering name of "Doughie". (In later years, It will provide her therapist even more fodder.)
"Doughie" (She is the one smiling.)
Our youngest will be called "Sassy Bee". In the past, I have called her "Sassy B" and my brother thought it was short for "Sassy Bi*$#". (He must have real high opinions of my parenting skills.)
"Sassy Bee" (She is the one smiling.)
As for our other 5 children, we will refer to them as the "Others". This will be our ode to "Lost."
Here I am with some of the "Others". I will also be the demented voice of the blog.